Ought to Be Shot List

Location: Los Angeles, California, United States

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Nicely Done

Well I decided not be a complete media cynic and post a "Nicely Done" list as well. (I'm afraid if my politics and interests were not already exposed they soon will be and the hate mail will inevitably follow). That is if anyone ever happens to stumble onto my blog and cares enough to drop their 2 cents. Anyways, here are a few things I like about what I find on TV, things that make me think out loud: Nicely Done! And believe me as someone who is currently unemployed and quite lazy, I watch more TV than should be legal.....

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart -

I haven't seen anything so smart (nor read anything so, they have a book u know) in quite some time. Suffice it to say 4 times a week I get to see my pessimism and cynicism eloquently and comically portrayed by the talented Daily Show folks.

The Colbert Report -

Well yet another Daily Show alum with smarts and wits of his own and a natural in front of the camera to boot. He was always one of my favorite correspondents and has managed to turn a 30 second mock commercial into a highly original, riotous, facetious, and ground breaking satire.
We can all use a daily dose of "Truthiness" ®. Bravo.

The West Wing -

I've only recently gotten into the re-runs of this "porn for liberals". I used to find it too fast paced, but I gave it some time and the writing is absolutely superb and the characters, even the minor ones, are developed skillfully. I wonder if the fictional administration's policies didn't quite mesh with my politics, I'd enjoy it as much.

HBO Comedies/Dramas:

Da Ali G Show
and Curb Your Enthusiasm - call them comedic and mentally orgasmic

Sopranos - one hour weekly with writing and production worthy of an Oscar

Quirky Little Shows That Could:

Arrested Development - Curb Your Enthusiasm meets Three's Company + David Cross

Chappelle's Show - Sketch comedy the likes of which I haven't seen in quite some time. Reminiscent of early SNL, early In Living Color, and Mr. Show.

The Office with Steve Carrel - Quirky and entirely inappropriate humor to die for. You either get it or hate it. I think quite possibly the best mid season replacement I've ever seen.

Monk - OCD put to good use

Big Shows That Can:

Lost - Twin Peaks meets Giligan's Island- well sort of and the hottest chick I've seen in quite some time

Heroes - Even better than the first season of Lost.

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip - A little sappy at times, but exquisite writing and acting. Did we expect anything less from Aaron Sorkin?

Crime Dramas That Stand the Test of Time:

Law and Order- esp. The Steven Hill episodes.


The Shield

In the future postings I'll tackle political shows, old standbys, and sports shows. Time to sleep zzzzzzzzzzzz

Sunday, January 22, 2006

The Ought to Be Shot List

The following people in my OPINION ought to be shot. There is no particular rhyme or reason to this; just a way for me to vent my frustrations at the litany of people on television who genuinely annoy me. In a perfect world imagined in my head the following people would not exist. For those who are deluded enough to believe this crusade is anything other than an exercise in expression of an opinion, I have included the following disclaimer:

Disclaimer: I am not advocating violence against any of the individuals on this list. The word "shot" is used in a symbolic sense. Not that I need to tell you, but please obey the law.

This list is by no means exhaustive. If you have any suggestions for additions or subtractions drop me a

And now for the list:

1. P. Diddy, AKA Puffy, AKA Puff Daddy, AKA Sean John, AKA Sean Combs, etc........

The rest are in no particular order whatsoever............

All Scientologists

Gloria Allred
Jerry Falwell
Pat Robertson
James Dobson
Tom DeLay
Bill Frist, "M.D."
Paris Hilton
Rasheed Wallace
Slava Medvedenko
Terrel Owens
Stephen A. Smith
Ann Coulter
Robert Novak
Paul Begala
James Carville
Karl Rove
Rush Limbaugh
Bill O'Reilly
Dennis Miller
Mariah Carey
Celine Dion
Christina Aguilera
Vin Diesel
Jared from Subway
John Norris (the MTV guy)
Joan Rivers
Rosie O'Donnel
Dr. Phil
Donald Trump
Jerry Springer
TV Judge (fill in the blank)

The NBC Dramatic Voice Over Guy (followed closely by the VH1 wannabe Robin Leach Voice Over Guy)

The always incredulous, buggy eyed, former prosecutor, looks like the evil tweety bird, Court TV anchorwoman

The creepy white haired gremlin looking "Doctor" founder of that online dating site

Cojo, Cujo whatever, any fashion people who obviously neither own a mirror nor a keen sense of irony

Fred Durst , you actually tried (emphasis on "tried") to cover a Who song, r u insane?

Barry Bonds- arrogant steroid using F*&@

Scott Van Pelt- "That's levitation homes!" Come on! Dude, look in the mirror. You're white, not even off white, white as the fresh driven snow, white.

Martha Stewart- she just irritates me, I don't know why, but she does.

Antonio Banderas- a new cologne? Do I really want to smell like him?

Star Jones- "Corporate Whore" if there ever was one.

Joe Rogan (Dude quit being the prime time Billy Mays and calm the f&*# down, you have a mic you know!)

Kathy Griffin and the rest of the get your own life, celebrity discussing, and celebrity obsessing psuedo-celebrities.

The host of extreme makeover with the lemon meringue haircut who obviously likes to cut his morning cup of joe with crystal meth.

The CNBC Suze whatever, who considering her uncanny abiltiy to incessantly run her mouth no longer requires oxygen to live.

"The delusional Kirstie Alley who now thinks she's skinny. Scientology strikes again." OK so I'll eat some of my words, she looks amazing now and good for her for sticking to it. She still annoys me though, so I'll keep her on the list for the time being.

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Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Chicks I Dig (or have dug in the past)

Well here's the list in the order of digging. I'm sure I've forgotten some, but I can always add more

(p) = what I consider "in her prime"

Natalie Portman
Milla Jovovich
Evangeline Lilly
Nicole Kidman
Mary Louise Parker
Jessica Alba
Elisha Cuthbert
Meg Ryan (p)
Cindy Crawford (p)
Adriana Lima
Halle Berry
Ashley Judd
Lindsay Lohan
Kate Bosworth
Ana Kournikova
Charlize Theron
Christie Brinkley (p)
Alyssa Milano (p)
Jennifer Aniston
Heather Locklear
Elizabeth Hurley
Aishwarya Rai
Sherilyn Fenn
Scarlett Johanson
Nicole Eggert (p)
Elle MacPhereson (p)
Eva Longoria
Helen Hunt
Bridget Fonda
Dana Delany
Mila Kunis
Elisabeth Rohm
Laetitia Casta
Marisa Tomei
Jill Hennessey
Kate Hudson
Linda Evangelista (p)
Jamie Lynn Siegler
Rene Russo
Julianne Moore
Brooke Shields (p)
Natalie Imbruglia
Gabrielle Reece
Catherine Zeta Jones
Shana Hiatt
Tea Leoni
Leelee Sobieski
Kim Alexis (p)
Paulina Porizkova (p)
Jennifer Morrison
Yamila Diaz
Kylie Minogue
Charlotte Ross
Mena Suvari
Gillian Anderson
Jennifer Connely (p)
Gwyeneth Paltrow
Sandra Bullock
Vanessa Williams (p)
Yasmine Bleeth (p)
Michelle Pfifer (p)
Heather Graham
Laura Prepon
Sarah Michelle Gellar
Mira Sorvino
Jennifer Esposito
Rudi Bakhtiar
Yasmeen Ghauri (p)
Teri Hatcher (p)
Alicia Silverstone (p)

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Most Annoying Commercial spokespersons

Before getting to the old list here's a new addition that has yet to be voted on:

"Tony Sinclair" the gap toothed, cocky (God knows why), obviously on some sort of pharmaceuticals Tanqueray pusher who apparently styles his hair with a weed whacker.

Here is the list of the most annoying commercial spokespersons on TV according to me and Bev a fellow TV junkie:

1. Jared from Subway (enough already we get it! You were fat, you ate sandwiches, now you're skinny, if only there was a consumable product that let you gain charisma and personality).

2. The office supply store "Rubberband Man". Why is he so f*&%$ing happy? He delivers office supplies for a living. How many pharmaceuticals is this man on?

3. The Verizon "Can you here me now" guy. If I strangled him no jury on earth would convict me! (TV Tuesday said... It'd be hard to hear him as you strangled him...LOL And I know you wouldn't be convicted.)

4. The guy (Mathew Lesko) who has the question marks all over his suit trying to sell some book on how to get money out of the government.

5. The Oxy-Clean ( and various other products) guy calling himself Billy Mays who obviously graduated from the Joe Rogan school of voice projection.

6. The Corti-Slim "Dr.".....

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

"Office" and Steve Carrel the Best Show on Television?

I think quite possibly the Office with Steve Carrel is the best mid season replacement I've ever seen on television. If you can think of a better one let me know I'm sure some of my favorites started their life in midseason.

Sunday, February 06, 2005

Well I'll be damned

Well despite the losing effort of the Eagles, Terrel Owens really showed me something tonight. He gave it his all and outplayed every other one of his teammates, who frankly should be ashamed of themselves. So the unthinkable has happened. I've reconsidered his inclusion on "the list" and will now remove him. I'm sure he'll do something stupid in the near future and force my hand, but for now he's exonerated.